LGBT Exclusive: Counselling for Couples

Would you like to understand how gay couple counselling (and poly/non-monogamous group counselling) becomes important to gay relationships, lesbian, bisexual, queer, trans or agender?

Let me share with you the real story…

You’re not the first gay couple to consider counselling. You don’t need to feel shame in making use of some help from an experienced therapist. You see: any intimate relationship can suffer strain, conflict, arguments, acting-out, sexual-engagement difficulties and/or abuse. But… as LGBT/QIA+ we might be suffering in our particular relationships because of problems our parents were less likely to have had…

…as we grew up observing our parents modelling their relationship, we didn’t gain sufficient information to learn how to manage our distinctly intimate & sexual gay couple and gay group relationships!

Without noticing, we have likely been trying to employ observations from our formative years, using borrowed-approaches that showed themselves repeatedly to be off-kilter to our own distinct needs. We didn’t know why our approach in resolving our conflicts were repeatedly unsuccessful.

In short: we’ve been employing heterosexual approaches, not approaches suitable to our own gay relationships.

Until recently – as LGBT/QIA+ – we didn’t even have many (very-necessary) role-models to look up to. Nor have our schools taught us what to look out for. Simply employing heterosexual behaviour to our gay intimate relationships resulted in unnecessary struggles we’re unprepared to manage our love life.

As LGBT/QIA+ we have had to develop our own relationship philosophies! Intimacy philosophies that work for our Couple Relationships and/or Polyamorous Intimate Groups… and many of us, understandably, struggle to do this.

Some relationships appreciate some help. Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg) – via the deliberately non-heterosexual counselling service LGBTCoupleCounselling.co.uk – could well be the inspirational intervention you’ve been seeking… together.

Best Counsellor for you?

You may not be surprised that I can’t tell you here if I’ll be the best counsellor for you and your partner’s/s’ needs. I can, though, help you to make an informed decision about the services I offer as part of my private counselling practice for LGBT/QIA+ Couples & Groups. Let’s do this:-

Werking it Together!

So… I can’t emphasise this enough:-

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and asexual relationships whose behaviour leads to a break-up – sometimes later leading to a reconciliation – only to break-up again later – can be helped by a counsellor who specialises in working therapeutically with LGBT/QIA+ Couple & Group Relationships.

But this isn’t just any relationship we’re talking about… it’s yours.

Meeting with British Couple/Group Relationship Counsellor Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg) in Havant, Waterlooville, Portsmouth (Hampshire, UK) or online with Zoom / Skype can help sexuality-and-gender-diverse people…

(a) learn to discover and comprehend what may really be going on underneath their relationship’s behaviours & conflicts,

(b) learn to take creative and considered steps to unravel repeating problems,

(c) learn to consider different ways to respond to their relationship’s demands, snuffing out not just old conflicts but newer ones as they occur in the future.

Experienced Therapist

So, you’re interested in a gay couples/established-group therapist who is knowledgeable about LGBT/QIA+, mixed-sexuality lifestyles and the specific conflicts experienced. Maybe you’re becoming curious to learn you why you’d choose Counsellor Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg). Even as an experienced British specialist counsellor of 21 years experience working with LGBT/QIA+  does his approach suit your specific needs?

I might have an answer to this.

Hi – I’m Dean… and I’m an actual Gay Relationship Counsellor! 👋🏻 (gentle applause)

You see, although most professional counselling membership bodies (at least more recently…) frown upon their members who decline to work with lesbian and gay people, they usually let those counsellors continue to decline the invitation to work with your relationship (e.g. citing religious or personal beliefs etc).

Frown? Uhuh! 🤦🏻‍♂️

Even in 2021 – and with the Memorandum of Understanding #2 in place – taking positions like this with professional therapists is kinda 19th century stuff (IMHO)!

Transparently Gay.

You may have seen on Google some couple/group relationship therapy services advertising sentiments such as: “biblical traditional marriages”. I’ve  wonder to myself if “biblical” is code for: “We work with hetrosexual only” 🤷‍♀️

The therapy approach that I – Dean Richardson – use with LGBT/QIA+ couples and groups means I don’t take a judgemental position about “what a normal couple would do here is…”. Instead I employ an effective, therapeutically neutral, systemic approach (science bit: “circular questioning”) that allows the relationship to begin to discover their own effective resolutions to their own relationship conflicts.

A Different Counsellor – Zoom/Skype

Here’s something you need to know…

Generally, initial counselling qualifications offered by British training institutes cover only the skills necessary to work with a single person (known as “individual counselling”) and working face-to-face only (ie not using Internet video nor telephone). This can leave self-described “fully qualified” counsellors without adequate understanding of the specific needs of relationships between people (couples, groups) nor how to actually work therapeutically with them.

Couple Counselling and Group Therapy is not the same approach as “individual counselling… but just with a few more people attending” (yikes! 😲)

What makes Dean a Different Counsellor?

Dean Richardson is not just a counsellor; he is also a fully qualified and experienced Relationship Counsellor (PGDip systemic / psychodynamic Couple Counselling: Chichester; National Foundation in Group Therapy: Institute of Group Analysis, London). 

He’s also a fully Independent Counsellor (not associated with organisations that process therapy en masse, nor foreign therapy services who can’t spell “Counsellor” in their advertising 🤣). 

Added to this, Dean is an experienced Internet Video Web Counsellor now having 13 years actual experience of working remotely via Zoom, Skype etc.

Spot the differences, yet?! 😉

Dean’s private therapy practice focuses on the therapeutic, psychological & developmental needs of lesbian & gay couple/group relationships as part of his continued professional development (CPD). LGBT/QIA+ Counselling (aka offering gay couple therapy) is one of Dean’s focal specialities.

What to ask Other Counsellors.

Even if you choose not to work with Dean, it’s worth asking every counsellor you evaluate: “what qualifies you to work with our relationship (on webcam)?” and listen carefully to the counsellor’s reply. How you feel about what you’re hearing may help you appreciate if the counsellor being interviewed is suitable for your specific relationship needs.