LGBT Exclusive: Couple/Group CounsellingGay Relationship Counselling from the Independent, British Gay Couple & Group Counsellor. Discover (re-)solutions both useful & beneficial.Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg) is an excellent British Therapist centred around Portsmouth & Southampton (Hampshire) and Chichester (Sussex). He offers Real-time Video Counselling exclusively to Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Asexual and Queer Couples, plus Polyamorous Groups, over Zoom & Skype. Feel assured from an impressive 21 years of expertise. Perfect for cis-gender, trans-gender or gender-agnostic.…so much more than just another ally. Counselling Services for LGBT+Book an Appointment
Jay - Modern Family (S7E8)…
Don’t go into a relationship and expect things. You’ve got to go in and do things. You have to show your love and show your commitment. That’s what will get into someone’s heart and make the relationship.
Eric Marcus – “The Male Couple’s Guide” (buy on Amazon) (3rd ed. © 1999)
An important resource for gay and lesbian relationships is couple counselling, whether it comes at a time of stress […] or is used as a preventive measure to build stability.
Betty Berzon – “The Intimacy Dance – A Guide to Long-term Success in Gay and Lesbian Relationships” (buy on Amazon)
Most gay […] couples will be able to appraise the level of a therapist’s knowledge about homosexuality and gay/lesbian life-styles in a very short time.
J. C. Gonsiorek – “Guide to Psychotherapy with Gay and Lesbian Clients” (buy on Amazon) – Chapter: Psychotherapy for Gay Male Couples.
If the purpose of therapy is to help gay [couples] form a more secure attachment to one another, they must first form a secure enough attachment to the therapist.
Gil Tunnell – “An Affirmation Approach to Treating Gay Male Couples” (ISSN: 0362-4021).
The modern gay man is his own best friend, has healed his inner child, has memorised the Kama Sutra, and owns a little black book that would make Casanova jealous. Why, then, do so few of them have the house, dog, Range Rover, and husband that so many yearn for?
Patrick Price – “Husband Hunting Made Easy and Other Miracles for the Modern Gay Man” (buy on Amazon)
~ Jennifer (“Jenny”) Finney Boylan.
It’s Going Wrong?
Do you want to know why gay couple (and poly/non-monogamous group) counselling is so crucial in same-sex relationships, whether they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, trans, or agender?
Let me share with you the real story…
You aren’t the first gay couple to think about seeking counselling. You don’t have to feel embarrassed about seeking treatment from a qualified therapist. Any intimate relationship can have tension, conflict, disputes, acting-out, sexual-engagement difficulties, and/or abuse. However, as LGBT people, we may be experiencing difficulties in our relationships as a result of issues during our formative years…
…as we watched our parents’ behaviour, we didn’t learn enough to know how to manage our distinctly different, intimate & sexual relationships!
Applying an Ineffective Approach
Without realising it, we’ve likely been attempting to apply heteronormative insights from our early years. We’ve employed approaches borrowed from our caregivers, and they have repeatedly proven to be off-kilter with our own unique demands. We didn’t understand why our technique to settling problems was so ineffective.
In short, we’ve been using straight tactics that aren’t appropriate for our queer relationships.
Few LGBT+ Role Models
As LGBT/QIA+ people, we haven’t had many role models to look up to until relatively recently. Our schools let us down teaching heteronormative sex education, neither. When we apply straight behaviour to our LGBT intimate relationships could end up in unnecessary fights for which we were not prepared.
As LGBT/QIA+ people, we had to develop our own relationship concepts! Techniques for intimacy that work for our couple relationships and polyamorous groups. Many of us, understandably, find it difficult to do so.
We need some assistance.
Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg) provides a exclusively non-heterosexual therapy service called LGBTCoupleCounselling.co.uk, which could be the therapeutic boost you’ve been looking for… together.
The Better Fit ~ Counselling Gay Couple
I can help you with making an informed decision. Let’s highlight some pages for you (see the top menu for further details)…
Werking it Together
A counsellor that specialises in working therapeutically with LGBT/QIA+ Couple & Group Couples can help lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, and asexual relationships who struggle to stay together. Some couples break up, get back together, and then break up again. We can examine what is impeding the development of a stable partnership.
But this isn’t just any relationship we’re talking about… it’s yours.
What you could do
Meeting with British Couple/Group Relationship Counsellor Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg) online with Zoom / Skype can help both sexuality-diverse and gender-diverse people with the following…
(a) Learn to uncover and comprehend what’s actually going on beneath their erratic relationship behaviour and disagreements,
(b) Learn how to solve challenges in a creative and methodical manner,
(c) Learn to evaluate various responses to their relationship’s demands, snuffing out not only old but emerging disputes when they arise in the future.
This is what you’re searching for
In layman’s terms, a couple or group gets lost and can’t see the forest for the trees. They invite Dean, their relationship counsellor, to join them in looking at their wood. They want him to assist them in noticing what they aren’t seeing (or what they may be turning a blind-eye to).
Discussions inspire choices for learning and possible improvements. We’ll begin to look at what hasn’t been seen before.
The couple leaves counselling with plans already underway that are transforming their wood.
As a result, the couple develops newer ways of getting curious about their relationship behaviour. Curiosity (in tandem with our partner) becomes a strong relationship-transforming and preserving tool.
There’s a free, added benefit: Dean’s therapeutic approach, which the clients will adapt for their own use, can continue to aid couples and groups long after they’ve finished counselling.
I might have an answer to this…
Hi – I’m Dean… and I’m an actual Gay Relationship Counsellor! 👋🏻 (polite applause)
So, although most professional counselling membership bodies (at least more recently…) frown upon their members declining to work with lesbian and gay people, they usually let those counsellors continue to decline the invitation to work with your relationship (e.g. citing religious or personal beliefs etc).
Frown upon? Uhuh! 🤦🏻♂️
Even in 2021 – and with the Memorandum of Understanding #2 in place – I believe that those attitudes are very last-century!
You may have seen on Google some couple/group relationship therapy services advertising sentiments such as: “biblical traditional marriages”. I’ve wonder to myself if “biblical” is code for: “We work with hetrosexual only” 🤷♀️
The therapy approach that I use with LGBT/QIA+ couples and groups means I don’t take a judgemental position about “what a normal couple would do here is…”. Instead I employ an effective, therapeutically neutral, systemic approach (science bit: “circular questioning”) that allows the relationship to begin to discover their own effective resolutions to their own relationship conflicts.
A Distinct Approach to Relationships
Here’s something you need to know…
Graduate counselling qualifications provided by British training institutions cover only the skills needed to work with a single person (“individual counselling”) and only in person (“face-to-face”). This can leave self-described “fully qualified” counsellors with insufficient understanding of the distinct needs of human relationships attending therapy, as well as a poor understanding of how to offer the best service to clients over video.
Couple Counselling and Group Therapy is not the same approach as “individual counselling… but with just with a few more people attending” – yikes! 😲
This is where Dean’s distinct qualifications and practice are different.
What makes Dean a Different Counsellor
Dean Richardson is not just a counsellor; he is a Fully Qualified and Experienced Relationship Counsellor (Dip PSychodynamic Counselling (Chichester); PGDip systemic / psychodynamic Couple Counselling (Chichester); National Foundation in Group Therapy: Institute of Group Analysis (London) – read more).
He’s also a fully Independent Counsellor (not associated with organisations that process therapy en masse, nor foreign therapy services who can’t spell “Counsellor” in their advertising 🤣).
Not done yet… he’s also an experienced Internet Video Web Counsellor having 14 years of actual experience working with remote clients over Zoom, Skype etc.
Spot any differences to your local counsellors, yet?! 😉
Dean’s private counselling practice, as part of his ongoing professional development, focuses on the therapeutic, psychological, and developmental requirements of lesbian and gay couple/group relationships. Dean’s primary focus is LGBT/QIA+ counselling.
What you might ask Other Counsellors
Even if you choose not to work with Dean, it’s worth asking every counsellor you interview: “what qualifies you to work with our relationship (on webcam)?” Listen carefully to the counsellor’s reply: how do you feel about what you’re hearing? Your intuition may be able to tell you if the counsellor is a good fit for your specific relationship needs.
LGBT/QIA+ Couple & Group Counsellor:
Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg)
Queer Services – British, Local & Remote
NOTICE: Video Couple & Group Webcam Counselling Services continue unaffected, whilst face-to-face services are suspended.
Queer couples & groups searching for counselling services nearby may not have considered the remote therapist option.
After working exclusively in charity for over ten years, Dean opened his 2010 private counselling practice originally for: Counselling for Gay Couples. A bespoke therapy service specialising in LGBT/QIA+ couples in long-distance relationships. This therapy service focused on the distinct needs of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, gender-fluid and many other queer-style relationships.
Expanding Video Services
To support the 2019 British National Emergency, Dean expanded his remote Zoom & Skype Video Counselling for LGBT Couples services, adding additional appointments. Webcam counselling respects your discretion and privacy when calling from the safety of your home or office; it proved to be popular for LGBT couples staying at home and looking for a safe, reliable, British video relationship counselling service created especially for our kinds of relationship.
LGBT Couple Counselling was available within the therapy rooms near the main Havant, Hampshire shopping centre but, due to Lockdown, no longer. Dean’s service for LGBT/QIA+ Couples and Established Groups continues to be centred around Portsmouth, Hampshire (UK) and, since 2020, is available exclusively via Internet telecommunications using free apps such as Zoom, Skype and others.
Help in Separating (sometimes)…
The goal of counselling isn’t to make partners stay together. Counselling is about assisting a relationship with (a) identifying what they want from each other and (b) working in counselling sessions (and homework) to bring that about.
This means that some couples and groups use counselling to separate. This is as valid a choice as any about how you might use counselling.
Whatever the relationship wants, we’ll talk about this in detail at the beginning of our work.
A Brief Overview
A brief overview of the counselling process would involve:-
(a) Helping a couple/group to decide what the focus of the counselling will be.
This might be supporting the couple or group in comprehending recurring patterns of behaviour. It could be about aiding a couple/group intending to start (or end) a relationship. The focus could be anything… and anything is welcome.
(b) Facilitating a couple/group in working with the focus.
Once we’ve decided on the focus we’ll start learning more about how the relationship manages that focus. We will find out what works and what doesn’t work. The clients normally starts each session by bringing the most pressing issue that has developed since the last one. Sometimes the topic will follow on from last time, and other times it will be a new topic (or even a random one).
(c) Supporting a couple/group with any changes in focus.
If part (b) is about discovering new information, new information may lead to a change in what the couple want to achieve with each other.
So, if you’ve been thinking, “we need a couple therapist, he’ll tell us how we stay together,” hopefully this website is providing you with a wealth of new information that will help you make a choice.
Therapy for Groups & Couples
LGBTCoupleCounselling.co.uk offers relationship counselling for both established polyamorism / non-monogamous groups and couples (whether they’re in a polyamorist relationship, an open relationship or are a committed couple).
Counselling sessions are (at a minimum) weekly and arranged for the same day and time (from your choice of available weekly appointments).
Optionally, you may wish to discuss coming to sessions more than once a week. There is also the option consider longer sessions (90 minutes are available by prior arrangement). Discussing these with Dean may help you make an informed decision that’s right for you.
How long is the work: our counselling work together continues for as long (or as brief) as we think it’s helpful… one aim is to make the counsellor (me!) redundant & unnecessary to the relationship going forward.
Fees are due on the day of the session (credit & debit cards payable via PayPal, Bank App payments, BACS transfers).
Ending counselling: rather than one day saying “we’re ending counselling today” it can be helpful to bring up the idea of ending counselling first. Sometimes the need to end may be a mask for something else (avoiding a difficult conversation, fear about what a topic might bring up, difficult feelings, loss etc) and it can be helpful to distinguish, together, what ending may mean in our work and for your relationship. We’ll talk about these matters with some thoughtfulness and planning.
- 1 LGBT Exclusive: Couple/Group Counselling
- 1.1 It’s Going Wrong?
- 1.2 The Better Fit ~ Counselling Gay Couple
- 1.3 Werking it Together
- 1.4 Experienced Therapist
- 1.5 A Distinct Approach to Relationships
- 1.6 Queer Services – British, Local & Remote
- 1.7 Help in Separating (sometimes)…
- 1.8 Therapy for Groups & Couples