LGBT Couple CounsellingThe British Gay Relationship Specialist: Havant / Hampshire Video Counselling Therapy using Zoom & Skype. 22nd year of Practice ~ Experienced LGBT / QIA+ Relationship / Couple Counsellor for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Mixed-Sexuality and Queer-Identifying Couples.So very much more than just an ally… Book NowLearn More
Don’t go into a relationship and expect things. You’ve got to go in and do things. You have to show your love and show your commitment. That’s what will get into someone’s heart and make the relationship.
Eric Marcus – The Male Couple’s Guide (buy on Amazon) (3rd ed. © 1999)
An important resource for gay and lesbian relationships is couple counselling, whether it comes at a time of stress […] or is used as a preventive measure to build stability.
Betty Berzon – “The Intimacy Dance – A Guide to Long-term Success in Gay and Lesbian Relationships” (buy on Amazon)
Most gay […] couples will be able to appraise the level of a therapist’s knowledge about homosexuality and gay/lesbian life-styles in a very short time.
J. C. Gonsiorek – “Guide to Psychotherapy with Gay and Lesbian Clients” (buy on Amazon) – Chapter: Psychotherapy for Gay Male Couples.
If the purpose of therapy is to help gay [couples] form a more secure attachment to one another, they must first form a secure enough attachment to the therapist.
Gil Tunnell – “An Affirmation Approach to Treating Gay Male Couples” (ISSN: 0362-4021).
~ Jennifer (“Jenny”) Finney Boylan.
Would you like to understand why couples therapy can be important to lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or trans relationships?
Let me share with you a real story…
Any couple relationship can suffer strain, conflict, arguments, acting-out and/or abuse.
But as LGBT/QIA++ we can suffer in our relationships because of a problem our parents weren’t likely to have: as we grew up observing our parents’ relationship we didn’t gain enough information to learn to manage our same-sex relationships. Without realising it, we ended up employing observations from our formative years that meant those approaches were somewhat off-kilter to our own relationships’ needs: we employed our parents’ (heterosexual) approach, not our own.
Until very recently, as lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans we didn’t even have some (very-necessary) role-models to look up to. Simply employing heterosexual behaviour to gay relationships regularly resulted in unnecessary struggles – the modelling around us just didn’t help prepare us.
We had to develop our own relationship philosophy. A philosophy that works for our distinctly LGBTQ++ Couple Relationship, and many of us struggle to do this.
Some are successful on their own – others need help, and Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg) via the distinctly non-heterosexual counselling service LGBTCoupleCounselling.co.uk could be the help you’re seeking together.
Best Counsellor for You
Whilst you might be surprised that I can’t tell you directly if I’m the best counsellor for your relationship therapy, I can tell you:-
Werking It Together
So… I can’t emphasise this enough:-
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and asexual couples whose behaviour leads to a break-up… sometimes later leading to reconciliation… only to break-up again later… can be helped by a counsellor who specialises in working therapeutically with LGBT/QIA+ Couples. But this isn’t just any relationship we’re talking about… it’s yours!
Meeting with British LGBT Couple Counsellor Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg) in Havant, Waterlooville, Portsmouth (Hampshire) or online with Zoom / Skype can help LGBT couples:-
(a) learn to discover and understand what may really be going on underneath relationship behaviours & conflicts.
(b) learn to take creative and considered steps to unravel repeating problems.
(c) learn to consider different ways to respond, snuffing out not just old conflicts, but new ones as they occur in the future.
This is what you are looking for – in layman’s terms: a couple gets stuck and can’t see the wood for the trees. They invite Dean to look at the wood with them and help them notice what they’re not seeing (or what they may be turning a blind-eye to). Once we begin to see what wasn’t seeable before, discussions inspire options for change (pros, cons, leave as-is). The couple leave counselling with their plans already underway transforming their forest.
So, as an intimate couple we can develop our own ways of becoming curious about our relationship’s behaviour, with this curiosity (employed along with our partner) becomes a powerful relationship-transforming & maintaining tool.
There’s a bonus: the therapeutic framework employed by Dean Richardson can continue to help couples long after they’ve ended couple counselling.
Would you now like to learn about how to begin LGBT Couple Counselling…?
Actual Gay Counselling
Curious to learn you why you’d choose Counsellor Dean Richardson MNCS(Acc/Reg) as a British specialist counsellor working with lesbian, gay & mixed-sexuality couples?
Are you ready?
Hi – I’m Dean and I’m an actual gay couples’ counsellor!
You see, although most professional counselling bodies (at least now they do… frown upon counsellors who decline to work with lesbian and gay people, they won’t interfere with some counsellors who decline to work with your relationship (e.g. citing religious or personal beliefs).
In 2021 – that’s kinda disappointing.
You may have seen on Google some couple therapy services advertising sentiments such as: “biblical traditional marriages”. I wonder if “biblical” is a coded message for: “We work with hetrosexuals only” 🤷♀️
The approach that I use with LGBT couples means I don’t take a position about“what a normal couple would do is…”. Instead I employ an effective systemic approach (eg “circular” questioning) that allows the couple to discover their own effective resolutions to their conflicts.
Does Sexual Identification Matter?
I understand the specific needs and difficulties of lesbian and gay couples in a heteronormative society. Plus, I’ll focus specifically on your relationship needs (rather than try to apply a kind of magical “standard” for happy couples). My aim is to become redundant: you won’t need me after our therapy work is completed. This means that you’ll leave couple counselling with ways to manage your relationship both now and in the future.
My therapeutic approach with LGBT/QIA+ Couples means there doesn’t need to be more than one counsellor in the room with you, neither. (Yes, some services engage your relationship with two counsellor simultaneously).
Plus, I’m quite down-to-earth and “non-counselley”. I’ll use swearing and everything (meaning: I’m happy to use language & colloquialisms that you do)! This helps you become at-ease with the counselling processes.
Learn about: how couples use LGBT/QIA+ Relationship Counselling….
Experienced Video Counsellor
Here’s something you need to know:-
It’s not commonly known that general qualifications offered by British counselling qualifications only cover the skills necessary to work with a single person (“individual” counselling). This can leave self-titled “fully qualified” counsellors without adequate understanding or training of the specific needs of couple relationships, nor how to actually work with the relationship itself.
Couple counselling is not the same approach as individual counselling. Neither is it “counselling two people instead of one”!
What makes Dean a Different Counsellor?
Dean Richardson is not just a qualified counsellor. Dean is also a fully qualified and experienced Couple Counsellor (PGDip systemic / psychodynamic Couple Counselling; Chichester) and an experienced video counsellor now of 14 years practice.
Spot the difference?!
Dean’s private therapy practice focuses on the therapeutic, psychological & developmental needs of lesbian & gay couple relationships as part of his continued professional development (CPD) as a counsellor. LGBT/QIA+ Counselling is one of Dean’s experienced specialities.
What to ask of other counsellors.
Even if you choose not to work with Dean, it’s worth asking each couple counsellor you interview: “what qualifies you to work with lesbian/gay couples?”.
Listen very carefully to the counsellor’s reply. It may help you discover reasons why you might choose that counsellor, or might not.
Click to learn more about why you’d choose Dean Richardson…
LGBT Couple Counsellor: Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg)
Queer Local/Video Service
UPDATE: face-to-face counselling is suspended for the time being, however Video Couple Counselling via Zoom / Skype continues unaffected.
Originating in Southsea, Hampshire (near Portsmouth), moved temporarily into Waterlooville and now based in Havant Town Centre, Hampshire, England, Dean Richardson set up Counselling for Gay Couples in 2010 to focus on the distinct needs for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, gender-fluid and many other Queer relationships between couple; those struggling with their intimate / loving relationships.
Our counselling area is discrete, within therapy rooms set away from the main shopping centre. The area is mostly deserted in the evenings and our work is not disturbed. Easily accessible from the main A27 access road (5 minutes drive), or a short walking distance from Havant Central Bus and Train Stations.
Additionally, being available online via Zoom and Skype you may both attend counselling from the privacy and comfort of your own home.
Generally I’m available on Monday and Thursday evenings (5pm to 9pm) and Wednesday afternoons (noon to 5pm). You may choose the day and time you wish to meet with me weekly from my available appointments (below) – and this time will stay with you until we reach the end of our work together.
|Video Counselling (Zoom, Skype etc…)|
Click to go to HavantCounselling.com…
|Tuesday Appointments:||Not available|
|Thursday Appointments:||Short waiting list / evening appointment(s) scheduled to become available shortly (contact me to discuss)|
|Friday Appointments:||Not available|
|Weekend Appointments:||Not available|
About Sessions for Couples.
Counselling sessions are (at a minimum) weekly and on the same day and time each week.
Optionally, you may wish to discuss coming to sessions more than once a week. You may even wish to consider longer sessions (90 minutes can be available by prior arrangement). These are options, not compulsory.
Our counselling work together continues for as long (or as brief) as we both think it’s helpful… one aim is to make the counsellor (me!) redundant & unnecessary.
Fees are due on the day of the session (cash, cheque [made out to Dean Richardson], credit & debit cards).
Ending counselling: rather than one day saying “we’re ending counselling today” it is helpful to bring up the idea of ending counselling first. Sometimes the need to end may be a mask for something else (avoiding a difficult conversation, fear about what a topic might bring up, difficult feelings, loss etc) and it can be helpful to distinguish, together, what ending may mean in our work. We’ll talk about endings with some thought and some planning.
- 1 LGBT Couple Counselling
- 1.1 LGBT/Q+ Therapy
- 1.2 Best Counsellor for You
- 1.3 Werking It Together
- 1.4 Actual Gay Counselling
- 1.5 Experienced Video Counsellor
- 1.6 Queer Local/Video Service
- 1.7 Appointments Now
- 1.8 About Sessions for Couples.
- 1.9 Got a Question? Don't Hold Back…