Ten Ways Throuples Ensure a Happy Relationship

You may have heard of throuple relationships. You may be considering being in one. You may have concerns that throuples are more complex than couple relationships, and that perhaps the subject is taboo; you have no-one to talk with about this. Let me assure you that throuples are a legitimate form of relationship expression; as legitimate as are couples or polyamorous groups, and there are more around than you might think.

But being new to the concept of throuples (or you may already be experienced but are having some relationship struggles), you might find some relationship-relief by receiving some inspiring ideas on how throuples manage they’re relationship happiness more effectively.

How do throuples make a success of their commitment together?

What is a Throuple Relationship?

A throuple relationship consists of three people who have agreed to be in a consensual, committed, romantic (usually intimate, but not always sexual) relationship. This is a long-term arrangement, as opposed to a casual sex-based arrangement (such as a “threesome”), and it differs from a polyamorous “unicorn” arrangement (where an established couple invites a third person into their relationship, whether for a short-term engagement or something longer).

A throuple relationship is not the same as an open relationship. An open relationship is a mutual agreement between partners to have romantic or sexual interactions with people other than their primary partner. A throuple relationship can be open, of course, but if all three partners wish to remain committed to one-another then the relationship will be different to an open one.

Non-Hierarchical Relationship

Throuples involve all three partners on an equal footing, with no hierarchy (or at least recognises & manages a dynamic hierarchy). There are no rules regarding the sexuality or gender identity makeup of a throuple relationship (though each partner will have individual preferences that will influence the makeup of the throuple they’re committing to).

just as couples will have some interests in common, will do some activities together (go to the theatre, go on vacation, etc.), and will have interests and relationships outside of the couple relationship, members of a throuple relationship will have some interests in common, will do some activities together and will have different interests and relationships/friendships outside of the relationship.

Fewer Rules, More Consideration

There are no rules for creating and sustaining a happy and fulfilling throuple relationship. There are some important considerations, however, such as putting effort, communication, and understanding into the relationship from all parties. Instead of just one partner to think about, each partner in a throuple relationship has at least one, and often two, to think about.

Ten Behaviours for Throuple-Happy Relationships

Let’s take a look at ten key behaviours that partners in a throuple relationship engage in to achieve contentment and happiness.

1. Open Communication. Communication is vital! Create a safe and open environment in which all members can express their feelings, desires, and concerns without fear of being judged. To avoid misunderstandings, think about what are your needs, expectations, and boundaries and communicate these with your partners.
2. Trust, Honesty and Respect. Encourage trust among all members by being open and honest with one another. Avoid keeping secrets or withholding important information as these can lead to trust issues in the relationship. Respect and consideration should be shown to all members of the throuple. Each person’s thoughts, feelings, and needs are to be respected and acknowledged.
3. Guidelines and Boundaries. Just as with any other new relationship, guidelines (or “rules”) and boundaries are discovered by communication and conflicts. Usually: you do something and one or your partners becomes upset; there’s the opportunity to create a rule (“don’t do the thing”). But you can also set up guidelines and boundaries early on by a simple discussion: “I don’t like this kind of thing”, “when this happens I get distressed” etc. Understand that this is not a rulebook that everyone gets a copy (unless you actually produce a rulebook together; and why not). There’s potential for someone to misunderstand a guideline or forget about a boundary. But allowing for flexibility, understanding, compassion and feedback your distinct relationship’s rules can become second nature.
4. Individual Space. While participating in a throuple, it is essential to safeguard individual space and activities. Encourage each other to pursue personal interests and friendships outside of the relationship.
5. Managing Jealousy. In any relationship, including throuples, jealousy can arise. Together you can tackle jealousy openly and without blame provided that you can find the courage to bring your feelings to your partners. Focus on collaborative problem solving rather than blaming one another.
6. Conflict Resolution. Learn healthy conflict resolution techniques. Avoid personal attacks and instead concentrate on the issue at hand. Be open to compromise and finding solutions that benefit all members.
7. Shared Values and Goals. Recognize that all members of the throuple share common values and long-term relationship goals. Discuss your future expectations and collaborate to align your goals.
8. Quality time Together. Spend quality time as a throuple doing things that will strengthen your bond and connection. This could include things like shared hobbies, date nights, or simply spending quality time talking and connecting emotionally.
9. Regular Check-ins. Schedule regular check-ins to assess the relationship’s health and individual well-being. These discussions allow for the proactive resolution of any concerns and the assurance that everyone feels heard and supported. You could even keep a relationship book in the kitchen where each of you write in an item to be discussed at the next check-in.
10. Seeking Support when Needed. If difficulties appear to be too difficult to overcome on your own, consider seeking the assistance of a relationship counsellor or therapist who has experience working with non-traditional relationships. A professional can offer advice and tools to help you navigate any issues that may arise.

Every relationship is unique, regardless of it being a throuple, couple or polycule, and what works for one throuple may not work for another. Flexibility, understanding, and adaptability are key traits in maintaining a happy and fulfilling throuple relationship.

Now, go and live happily together.