Couple Counselling for Lesbian & Gay Couple Relationships

Counselling Services Summary

Specialist Gay Counsellor

Dean Richardson is a specialist counsellor, focussing on LGBT[QI] couple relationships.

If you are in a same-sex relationship/marriage, then Dean’s approach to couple counselling specifically addresses concerns for gay and lesbian partners (unlike, say, a more generic counsellor could).

Suitable for…

Suitable for a gay or lesbian adult couple relationship: intimate, marital, business or social.

You can discover what’s at the root of your relationship problems, and then learn to work together to undo the conflict.

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No Time Limits

Your couple relationship does not have a set period of time, so neither does private LGBT couple counselling.

We’ll begin by discovering what counselling should focus upon, then ~ if you choose ~ you can continue to work with Dean on undoing the problems, or you two can work on the problems yourselves (perhaps consulting with Dean on an as-needed basis).

Weekly & Regular

Effective couple counselling is weekly ~ any more time between sessions can weaken the effectiveness.

Weekly sessions can also help with budgeting, arranging baby sitting, and provides a weekly sanctuary where the couple focuses on their relationship.

Counselling for gay couples

Is LGBT Couple Counselling for your Relationship?

Do any of these situations seem familiar to you, your partner, or both of you?

  • A sense that the reasons for staying in the relationship have become lost (to one or both of you).
  • Repeating patterns of unhappy behaviour that neither of you can shift… or shift for very long.
  • Attempts to reconcile after a breakup keep failing (old problems keep bring brought up).
  • You don’t talk with each other very well (or any longer)… and when you do it seems to lead to arguments.
  • You seem to relate like brothers/sisters now, instead of like the lovers you used to be.
  • Intimacy problems: whether sexual intimacy, physical intimacy or emotional intimacy.
  • Violence or abuse in the relationship (ranging from perhaps feeling bullied physically or emotionally, to full domestic violence and abuse).
  • One or both of you have acted outside the relationship’s understanding (an affair, social-flirting, being let down etc).
  • Step-family problems: becoming a parent to someone else’s child.
  • Family problems: your or your partner’s family putting strain on your relationship.
  • Family planning: considering having or adopting children. surrogacy etc.
  • Death and/or loss: when major life changes effect how the two of you relate to each other.

What happens in Couple Counselling?

There are three main parts involved in the process of couple counselling:-

1. Discovering The Focus for Couple Counselling.

A major problem with couple conflicts is when the couple don’t really understand what is the problem.

They may think they do, but the couple continue going round and round (arguing, unresolving) and the problem keeps raising its head.

Without understanding the problem, how could any couple bring about satisfactory resolution?

So, the first part of couple counselling will see you and Dean work together to discover the details of the relationship problem. What counselling is going to focus on.

The focus may not be so obvious, but Dean is a skilled and sympathetic interviewer.  He will help the both of you carefully drill down deeper into the relationship’s behaviour. This is to begin discovering what may lie at the root of the relationship’s conflict.

This can take around 4 sessions (e.g. meeting together for session #1, meeting just one of you and Dean for session #2 and session #3, then meeting together in session #4 to begin bringing together what has been learned previous sessions).

2. The main work of Couple Counselling.

Once the focus for couple counselling has been discovered and agreed, the couple have a choice…

1) The couple may choose to work on the focus themselves. No further counselling sessions may be necessary.

2) The couple may choose to continue in counselling with Dean, working weekly on the relationship’s agreed focus.

There is no set time limit for this work. Each couple go at their own pace.

Working with Dean may see the couple:-

  • …learn to observe their relationship’s behaviour as a tool to understanding what’s happening.
  • …learn to recognise their Individual Instant Responses to their partner, the ones that lead to unhelpful responses, and to consider how what might change.
  • …learn how to use empathy to appreciate their partner’s point of view, without feeling attacked, or put down, or losing their equally valid point of view.

3. The Ending to Couple Counselling.

It’s not the aim of couple counselling to resolve everything.

Couples may choose to leave counselling without the conflicts being 100% resolved, but now the couple will be feeling more in harmony, and more able to work together on how they will handle their relationship problems.

It’s around the time that the couple are working well at home that the last few counselling sessions may be arranged. The couple and Dean can look back over the work, notice anything that hasn’t been worked on (or completed), and the couple can prepare to leave counselling.

The therapy actually continues after counselling has ended, but now the “therapy” in the hands of the couple themselves. No need to return back to counselling.

About LGBT Couple Counsellor Dean Richardson.

You could choose any counsellor.

But… when you consider that this is probably the most personal and the vulnerable you're going to be with your partner, you'd likely want to choose someone you could trust with your relationship.

Someone who was sensitive and effective with you and your partner's sexuality and ways of relating.

Someone who demonstrates adept professional skills with lesbian female, gay male, and mixed sexuality couple relationships, who speaks plain English (and who can swear like a virtuoso, along with you both as much as you might need - or not at all), and works co-operatively with the couple's relationship (he doesn't sit in silence, or just goes: "Hmm" for 50 minutes).

Someone who is an accredited member of both The British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, and The National Counselling Society. (Accreditation is a process that validates a counsellor's substantial experience and attention to an ethical practice).

… then you'd probably want to meet with Dean Richardson.

Plus, Dean is has postgraduate qualifications Couple Counselling (not all counsellors have such specific qualifications… I know, right?!) and focusses on LGBT relationship counselling as a speciality.

Yeah, you'd choose a local gay couple counsellor. Simple choice, really 😉

Couple Counselling Session Fees

How Couple Counselling fees work

Firstly, I assume that you’re both in employment and can afford £30 a week each (making up my £60 fee).

If this is not the case (maybe one of you is not working) then I can negotiate with you a fee that you can responsibly afford.

You’ll both need to be upfront with me about your expenses, and consider what you can responsibly afford for weekly sessions.

For example, if you’re both spending £100+ each weekend on clubbing (I know, a stereotypical example, but…), then you really can afford my weekly session fees for the time that we work together.

Contact me to talk about counselling fees.

A couple counselling session lasts for 50 minutes and begins on the hour (weekly 90 minute sessions can arranged too, if 50 minutes a week is not enough).

My fees are payable on the day of our weekly session ~ helps with budgeting.

You may pay online (credit and debit cards*, bank transfer, PayPal) or in person (cash, cheque, credit/debit cards*).

*credit and debit cards incur a small charge to cover processing fees. The fees are: £1.50 per transaction when paying in person, or +4% when paying online via PayPal.

Couple Counselling Appointments.

Couples & Individuals (Havant, Hampshire)
Click to go to HavantCounselling.com
Monday Appointments:Waiting list (contact me to discuss)
Tuesday Appointments:Fully booked
Wednesday Appointments:1pm2pm3pm4pm5pm6pm7pm8pm
Thursday Appointments:1pm2pm3pm4pm5pm6pm7pm8pm
Friday Appointments:Contact me to discuss appointments…

Couples & Individuals (Havant, Hampshire)
Visit HavantCounselling.com
Mon:Waiting List (contact me to discuss)
Wed:3pm
Thu:5pm or 8pm
Fri:Contact me to discuss

Waiting lists may be available for unlisted times.

(NB appointment times highlighted in red tend to be the first to be taken up).

Appointments are weekly: same time, same day, same location, same counsellor.

We work either for an agreed number of sessions or for as long as we both think it’s helpful.

Once you’ve chosen a day and time, this session becomes yours for as long as you need. No one else will be offered your appointment time.

You pay for sessions weekly (cash, cheque, credit card, debit card).

To end counselling: it is helpful if you bring up thoughts about ending, rather than attending a session saying “I’m ending today”. This is because sometimes the desire to end can be a mask for something else: being afraid, unable to be angry, acting out abandonment etc.

Once we’ve agreed an ending date, counselling sessions stop when we’re there.

Got a Question? Don't Hold Back…

If you have a question about gay & lesbian couple relationship counselling in Havant and Waterlooville, or want to ask about making your first appointment, feel free to drop me a line any time…

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