Same-Sex Relationships (Hampshire, Dorset & Sussex)

LGBTCoupleCounselling.co.uk available in Hampshire, Sussex & Dorset (UK) is the considered choice for same sex & mixed-sexuality couple / group counselling.

LGBT /QIA+ couples and polyamorous groups consider working with Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg) because of his impressive 22nd year expertise.  His knowledge and understanding of their most intimate relationship is reassuring.

Dean’s office / face-to-face practices have been centred in Portsmouth, Southsea, Waterlooville & Havant (Hampshire) reaching as far east as Chichester (West Sussex) with plans to expand into Southampton, Brighton & Hove and Bournemouth prior to the UK Lockdown. His useful therapy services – available exclusively to LGBT/QIA+ – continue to be available via real-time video conferencing using your existing devices (Zoom/Skype/Google Meet etc, Smartphones/Tablets/Laptops etc).

You’ve looked for the best service for your specific relationship. You’ve arrived  here – congratulations – this is the counselling service you’re seeking! 🎉

Google Customer Reviews of LGBT Couple Counselling (Hampshire)

Specialist Gay Counsellor

Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg) is a specialist counsellor, focussing on the needs of LGBT/QIA+ couple & group relationships.

If you are in a same sex couple, mixed or queer relationship / commitment / marriage, Dean’s therapeutic approach to relationships specifically addresses concerns for gay, lesbian & bisexual partners (unlike the more generic of counsellors).

Unlocking Therapy

Applying methods from over 50 years, couple counselling invites couples to embrace newer ways to communicate, comprehend and fall back in love again.

Discover your partner again through new eyes and ears, in ways that you didn’t know you could.

And we’ll go at your pace… together

 

Suitable for…

Suitable for a gay men, lesbian woman, bisexual, same-sex and queer adult couples and established groups: intimate, marital, business or social.

Plus  mixed sexuality / mixed-gender intimate relationships.

Together we will discover the root of a relationship’s problems, and then learn how to address the conflicts, aiming to make the counsellor redundant.

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Unrestricted Time

Your intimate relationship has no set time period, so neither does private LGBT/QIA+ Counselling for Couple & Group Relationships.

You’ll not be restricted to 6/12 sessions (like GPs/NHS). You’ll not be introduced to months of unending counselling.

Sessions are weekly & automatically scheduled so there’s no diary conflict.

Gay Couple Using Counselling

LGBT+ Relationship Therapy – Your Choice from our Service

TL;DR? Consider which therapy service for your relationship best suits your needs:-

About Counselling for LGBTQ+ Couples.

Where a couple can work on their couple relationship together.

About Counselling for LGBTQ+ Groups.

Where a non-monogamous or polyamorous group get to work on their group dynamics together.

About Sexual Engagement Counselling.

Where an LGBTQ+ identifying individual, couple or group get to work on sexual matters.

Change how you Communicate

A common complaint brought into counselling by many gay and lesbian partners is: “we don’t know how to communicate any more”.

I’ll say to you: people don’t talk for very good reasons.

It’s also not entirely accurate to say that partners don’t know how to communicate; the couple has been communicating even during conflicts (arguments, dissatisfaction, frustration, rage etc). But maybe, when the honeymoon is over (or the honeymoon didn’t have a chance to begin) and more serious matters come into their lives, the partners discover that the way they learned to communicate in the beginning has left them unprepared to deal with the more serious aspects of relationship communication later on.

Over the past 21 years I’ve heard thousands of stories about misunderstandings and inability to communicate successfully.

Such stories brought to me as a counsellor have included:-

Learn how to Communicate using Counselling

“We met online and didn’t live together for some months. We might have skipped the honeymoon (aka “foundation building”) stage.”

“We don’t talk any more – we just throw looks at each other and don’t try going any further.”

“I thought in relationships we get to know everything the other thinking or feeling. So why do I keep getting it wrong?”

“I think it’s because he {reasons of suspicion or hatred} so I don’t try to speak any more”

By employing therapeutic frameworks that have been around for over 50 years (aka The Milan Associates “Systemic/Family Therapy” and Psychodynamic Therapy) the couple learns newer checks-and-balances, learning how to communicate in more effective ways than before. Plus, as the counsellor, Dean employs these methods using plain English (so you won’t need a psychology degree to benefit).

The couple begins learning newer information about each other and their relationship; information they’ve been turning a blind-eye to for years.

And with new information comes new opportunities for behavioural change…

Subjects we can Talk about

As a gay, lesbian, bi or mixed-sexuality couple or group, any of these situations may seem familiar to either of you. It can help knowing that your relationship difficulties – whilst private – may not be as distressing or shameful as you think, especially when the problems are known only to the two of you.

By recognising your relationship conflicts, and learning that Dean Richardson – as a counsellor – also knows about these conflicts, you both can make a relieving decision to try counselling to help you both together. 

 

  • A sense that the reasons for staying in the relationship have become lost (to one or more of you).
  • Repeating patterns of unhappy behaviour that neither of you can shift… or shift for very long.
  • Attempts to reconcile after a breakup keep failing (old problems keep bring brought up).
  • You don’t talk with each other very well (or any longer)… and when you do it seems to lead to arguments.
  • Open Relationships: you find yourself in an open-relationship, without planning such an event or being aware it was happening.
  • Your partner wants a child: but you do not. Compromise is of no help; the issue won’t go away.
  • “Guest Star”: you both wish to bring in a third for sex into your monogamous partnership, but don’t know how best to go about this.
  • Gender transition: one or both of you undergoes gender transitioning, which you didn’t expect would affect the relationship.
  • You seem to relate like brothers/sisters now, instead of like the lovers you used to be, and you don’t like this.
  • Intimacy problems: whether sexual intimacy, physical intimacy or emotional intimacy; the magic has become tragic.
  • Violence or abuse in the relationship (ranging from perhaps feeling bullied physically or emotionally, to full domestic violence and abuse).
  • One or both of you have acted outside the relationship’s understanding (an affair, social-flirting, being let down etc).
  • Step-family problems: becoming a parent to someone else’s child (adoption, partner’s offspring, etc).
  • Family problems: your or your partner’s family putting strain on your relationship.
  • Family planning: considering having or adopting children. surrogacy etc.
  • Death and/or loss: when major life changes effect how the two of you relate to each other.

How we Get this Service Started

There are three main parts in the process of LGBT/QIA+ relationship counselling. We’ll begin to embrace this framework right from our very first session:-

A) Discovering our Focus

A major problem with relationship conflicts is when the parties involved are pretty sure they understand the problems. Yet, such an understanding doesn’t help address nor resolve their difficulties. I’d suggest that perhaps the lovers don’t really understand what is happening between them. The behaviour alone is insufficient information.

Without having a true picture the problem, how could a couple or group enact a satisfactory resolution?

So, our first part of counselling will see us working together to discover the details of the relationship’s conflicts and function. What counselling is going to focus upon?

Dean is a skilled and sympathetic interviewer. He will help the couple carefully drill down deeper into the relationship’s behaviour. This helps to begin discovering what lies at the root of conflicts. With more knowledge the couple and Dean begin to make better, more-informed decisions about how to proceed.

Gay Couple Counselling on Zoom

B) Our Core Work Together

Once the focus for relationship counselling is better understood, the couple have a choice…

1) The couple or group may choose to work on the focus themselves. They take no further counselling sessions .

2) The couple or group may choose to continue in counselling with Dean, working weekly on the relationship’s discovered focus.

There is no set time limit for this work. Each relationship goes at its own pace.

Working with Dean may see the partners:-

  • …learn to observe their relationship’s behaviour as a tool to understanding what’s happening.
  • …learn to recognise their Individual Instant Responses to their partner, the ones that lead to unhelpful responses, and to consider how what might change.
  • …learn how to use empathy to appreciate their partner’s/partners’ point of view, without feeling attacked, or put down, or losing their equally valid point of view.
Hampshire LGBT Counselling Services

C) Bringing Counselling to a Close

It’s not the aim of relationship counselling to resolve all the problems. A healthy, effective aim can be to reach a place where the relationship is behaving well enough for the partners to leave counselling whilst continuing on their journey alone.

Couples and Groups may leave counselling knowing that the main conflicts have been addressed, with their relationship more in harmony and their difficulties under their management through newly developed skills.

When the partners are working well away from the counselling sessions, they may decide to bring up the idea of ending counselling back into session. The last set of counselling sessions may be arranged and the partners and Dean can look back over the work. We notice anything that hasn’t been worked on or completed (an “unfinished business”), and the partners prepare to leave counselling.

The therapy continues after counselling has ended, but now the “therapy” in the hands of the partners themselves. No need to return back to counselling for top-up sessions (as if the relationship would somehow run out!) or further intervention from a professional.

LGBT Services for love and relationships

Is Dean the Choice for Your Relationship?

As an impressively experienced counsellor, for some they picked Dean because of his 21 years of expertise. For others, it was his 14 years of working as a video counsellor.

For some it was his accredited registration with the National Counselling Society. Others still, the fact that he was a British counsellor rather than the overseas counseling (sic!) services some had fallen into.

For a number of younger gay male couples, it was Dean’s age (“we wanted a gay therapist who was older”). For some lesbian couples it was Dean’s gender & sexual identification (“we experienced you as non-threatening”).

For those referred to him, it was his application of the 50+ years of integrated psychodynamic & systemic therapy. Therapeutic techniques that helped couples to communicate successfully again.

However you regard Dean’s experience, approach, age, regional accent (Yorkshire) or variable hair colour (currently “ash with highlights” 😁) you’ll be making the right decision for you and your distinct relationship needs. 

LGBT Couple Counselling on Video

About Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg)

You could choose any counsellor…

Given that this will be the most intimate and vulnerable you could be with your partner(s), you would want a talented professional whose expertise you can trust. Your couple or group relationship will be in good hands with Dean. He works from Great Britain, is Independent of "box 'em/shift 'e" organisations. He identifies as a gay couple counsellor. He is easily payable in pounds sterling! Dean already had an impressive 14 years actual video webcam experience way before the first British emergency began (did you notice other counsellors suddenly adding a video option to their portfolio?! 🤔).

What makes Dean a Distinct Counsellor

  • Dean is sensitive and effective to your sexuality / gender-identity and intimate ways of relating to each other.
  • You'll discover quickly that Dean is an informed member of your own community.
  • Dean demonstrates adept skills with lesbian, gay, bisexual, asexual, mixed sexuality and same-or-mixed gender relationships. He avoids the role of an "all-knowing expert";  experts don't learn & respond, they instruct!
  • Dean speaks plain English (and can swear like a virtuoso if you like, or not at all if you prefer). He works cooperatively with your relationship (no unnecessary silence, or just "hmms...").
  • Dean is proud to be an accredited member of The National Counselling Society. Accreditation is a valued recognition, originally awarded 12 years ago from another professional body. Accreditation usefully validates a counsellor's substantial experience and attention to ethical practice. Dean is a member of the Psychotherapy and Counselling Union of Great Britain.
If all that hits the mark… then you'd probably like to meet with the Online Gay Relationship Counsellor Dean Richardson MNCS(Accred/Reg) for LGBT/QIA+ yourself.

Specialist in LGBT/QIA+ Relationships

Dean focuses on LGBT/QIA+ relationships as a specialty in therapy. He works with individuals, couples and small groups. Plus, he's qualified to a postgraduate level (Chichester PG Diploma in Psychodynamic/Systemic Couple Counselling, IGA National Foundation in Group Counselling) as a private practice counsellor*.

(*Note: not all counsellors, particularly those who are commonly qualified in Individual Counselling, have such specific qualifications for working with couples or groups. Nor do they have therapeutic relationship experience. Such counsellors may try, perhaps out of misplaced goodwill, to employ "individual" techniques but will find they are ineffective. This is simply because your relationship is not part of their primary theoretical framework nor rationale. A couple is not "individual-counselling-multiplied-by-two!" Remember to always ask your potential counsellor: "what qualifies you to work with our relationship?" and trust your instincts based on the responses you hear).

Accredited Registrant of the National Counselling Society
Member of the British Psychotherapy and Counselling Union
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The Cove Therapy Rooms, 12 West Street Havant Hampshire PO9 1PF UK
+44-56-0366-3067£30-£130
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Private Relationship Counselling exclusively for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Mixed & Queer Couples and Established Polyamorous Groups - serving locations in and around central Havant, Petersfield to Waterlooville, Cosham to Portsmouth & Southsea, Southampton to Chichester, Fareham to Gosport, Hayling Island, Emsworth, Westbourne, Rowland's Castle, stretching westwards to Bournemouth and eastwards towards Brighton & Hove. For local residents anywhere in between and regularly further afield!

Got a Question about Counselling?

Don't Hold Back… if you have a question about counselling for gay / lesbian / bisexual couples & groups, or want to ask about making a first counselling appointment, you're welcome to get in contact to discuss your needs.