Top Ten Benefits for a Gay Couple Working with a Gay Counsellor…

… rather than a generalised (or even a non-couple relationship-oriented) counsellor.

It’s important to note that whilst a gay counsellor (who specialises in working with LGBTQ+ couples) may offer the following advantages, the most crucial factor in therapy is a strong therapeutic relationship. Ultimately, the choice of counsellor should be based on the couple’s preferences, comfort, and the therapist’s expertise & qualifications; a good enough fit in which to do the work.

So, let’s list the Top Ten Benefits to Gay Couples of working with a Gay Couples Counsellor…

1. Validation and Affirmation. Perhaps the most important benefit: a gay couple’s counsellor can validate and affirm a gay couple’s experiences, feelings, and identity in a non-judgmental and supportive manner, not only by empathy but by personal, lived experience.
2. A Shared Identity. A gay counsellor will have a similar sexual orientation to the client-couple, allowing the counsellor to understand deeply and sympathise with the unique challenges and experiences that this gay couple is facing.
3. Cultural Competence. A gay therapist is likely to be well-versed in LGBTQ+ culture, history, and societal issues, ensuring a safe and affirming therapeutic environment for LGBTQ+ clients, while holding shareable knowledge that the gay client couple may not have.
4. Reduced Stigma. When discussing their relationship or personal experiences with a couples therapist, the presence of a gay counsellor reduces the stigma and fear of judgement that some gay couples may feel when engaging in therapy. The counsellor knows where the couple is coming from, which can feel safe for the couple to discuss intimate matters.
5. Improved Communication. An experienced couples counsellor can assist in facilitating effective communication within the couple by the counsellor drawing on their knowledge (theory and experience) of LGBTQ+ relationship dynamics and communication patterns. An approach that a more general counsellor might overlook or be unaware of.
6. Addressing Internalised Homophobia. A gay counsellor can help couples confront and begin to overcome negative beliefs or shame about their sexual orientation and/or their intimate relationships. This is about addressing internalised homophobia—how we may carry shame about ourselves.
7. Building Supportive Networks. Gay counsellors are frequently aware of extensive networks within the LGBTQ+ community, which enables them the possibility to connect clients with relevant resources, support groups, or other individuals who can provide additional assistance.
8. Relationship Role Models. Working with an effective (happy!) gay couples counsellor can serve as a positive role model for a gay couple, inspiring hope and demonstrating that fulfilling, diverse relationships within our community are possible and deserved.
9. Sexual Health and Intimacy. A gay counsellor can offer bespoke, local knowledge and support in the areas of sexual health, intimacy, and relationship satisfaction, tailoring interventions to the specific needs and preferences of gay couples.
10. Navigating Discrimination. A gay counsellor is capable of helping couples in navigating discrimination or external challenges that may arise as a result of their sexual orientation while also providing coping/managing strategies.

In conclusion: regardless of how either partner (or the counsellor) self-identifies, an experienced, effective couples counsellor can work with a wide range of couples. Nonetheless, gay couples frequently seek out gay counsellors to assist them in working on their relationship problems. The couple must recognise, though, that not all counsellors are qualified to work with couples (or polyamorous groups).

In the UK, counsellors with a standard/initial diploma tend to train in individual therapy, not relationship therapy. Such counsellors will have very little understanding of how to work effectively with couple/group relationships because the professional techniques and theoretical frameworks for individual counselling and relationship counselling are considerably different from each other. If the couple is looking specifically for a gay counsellor, they must ensure that the counsellor has received specific training and qualifications in couple and/or group work.

Could Dean Richardson MNCPS (Accred/Reg) be the right couples counsellor for your relationship?